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The Diary Wall
Every woman a row, every day a column, in her own words. Read across for a life, down for a day, or open her page.
Content note: some entries touch on loss, illness, abuse, addiction and self-harm, in the women’s own words. All names are pseudonyms. If you need support, call or text 988.
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Showing 56 of 56 women
| Woman | Day 1 You | Day 2 Your world | Day 3 Nutrition | Day 4 Resilience | Day 5 Envisioning |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| AdrianaLatina · in her 30s | I enjoy the simple things in life, family, friends, & food, the 3 F's. Lol. | I was a young mother and had to grow up real fast… This moment made me who I am today, a strong independent woman. | "My food" consists of rice, always as a side dish, and a meat or fish as the main course. | did not write | did not write |
| AyanaBlack · in her 30sPortraitContent note | I am pretty basic when it comes to my food choices, but I am curious about trying new foods | My loss (miscarriage) … taught me that life is short … even in your darkest moments, you still have to continue to move forward | I do know once there were more local farmers that my grandparents used to get food from that no longer have farms | A big challenge that I faced in life would be deciding to walk away from my marriage. | You along with those you've motivated are the beginning of breaking a generational curse! |
| BeatrizLatina · in her 40sPortraitContent note | I was a huge carb eater mostly b/c I wasn’t allowed to pick what I wanted to buy for groceries | Death of my sister.. no matter how much you need a person in your life death don’t care… | Free event Free how to Free plans Basically it has to be free | Someone had to hold it together and take action to give a proper burial. | Always remember take time to focus on yourself and allow your family to be put to the side at times! |
| BernadetteBlack · in her 50sPortraitContent note | I love taking walks I love enjoying life enjoying the site may sound boring to some people but me and my family loves it | My most negative moment was when my mom got cancer and when my brothers died because those death was back to back | Again we all vote on what we want for dinner its like everyone gets a say … Im usually the one who prepares the food | I find a quiet spot and be still dont think about nothng but hearing the quiet in the room | Just keep pushing forward and you will soar. |
| BriannaBlack · in her 30s | when it comes to salmon I like to have it different ways like a salmon cheesesteak, salmon rolls, salmon sliders or pan seared salmon | Being a mother changed how I moved in life and gave me a love that I never felt before | …Buffalo chicken dip a girl eating the dip and really loving it would be in the video | did not write | did not write |
| BrittanyWhite · in her 20sPortraitContent note | mama usually eats while walking | I didn't feel worthy at first … I am a good mother and I have my values back. | I always hope to believe that animal had a long life and died humanely and with a purpose to feed a family. | There's always hope if you hold onto it! | They even said they look forward to our dinners together, it's something that everyone can count on. |
| CherylWhite · in her 50sPortraitContent note | I was raised in house with psychological and physical abuse. … I refused to be like that with my children and in my relationships. | They opened my eyes to what true love really was. I had never had that kind of love or family before. | I haven't been in the store to shop, since Covid started, not taking any chances lol. | I was agoraphobia for 3 and half years. … I forced myself to go to therapy ( even though it meant leaving the house). | You set your goals and you reached for the stars! You are a rock star!!!! |
| ClaudiaLatina · in her 40sPortraitContent note | I think Fish is Sexy and Sushi is Fierce and Grape leaves have attitude | when I lost my aunt 1 year ago she was my second mother I was more at her home than my own | Most Important how do you feel when you wake up? Next how is your skin? After how is your energy? | We opened up the living room for the kids to be able to dance | Be proactive and keep your head up high. |
| CrystalBlack · in her 30s | I feel like my weight has been a hinderance from me enjoying activities outside with my kids | I'm always very optimistic about my future. I don't get upset easily at all. | did not write | did not write | did not write |
| DanielaLatina · in her 20sPortraitContent note | these are kind of my ups n downs and pretending I'm happy when my weight truly effects my mood. | we went from being 30 steps away to being 19 hours away from each other. I was not independent like I thought I was. | Saying this question out loud really makes me consider not eating meat. | [my brother] got shot and killed … I have a lot of guilt for not reaching out more & not meeting up with him. | I am most proud of becoming what people said I couldn't which is a great mother! |
| DanielleBlack | Better to stay safe and gather later to eat vs. gathering for a funeral. | did not write | did not write | did not write | did not write |
| EbonyBlack · in her 30sPortraitContent note | there is no cure for pcos … it affects my relationships because i cant attend baby showers without crying | parents divorcing … i didnt know my father had a substance abuse issue and i realized i didn't want that in my life | my food is a recipe that usually has a lot of different peppers and onions because i love color and a hint of spice | this past week i started putting my phone on silent and take an hour to decompress from work which helps my headaches | my vision board has the quote health is wealth |
| ElenaLatina · in her 50sPortraitContent note | Food makes people happy and that makes me happy. Not to mention that rent comes due every month. | I found her dead of a drug overdose … Im crying as I type this but I know she's at peace. | A cheeseburger is $.99 a salad is $10. | I was always sneaking them food because alot of times stepmother wouldnt feed us. I took the beating if she found out. | The pace is slow the people are kind. |
| FeliciaBlack · in her 40s | Predictable, I eat almost the same thing all of the time and don't really care for rich foods with sauces on them | I keep busy so that the things that bother me, don't stress me out. | I actually do not really like soul food that much. My kids love it. I like Italian dishes, Jamaican food, Greek food | did not write | did not write |
| FernandaLatina · in her 30sPortraitContent note | …I never expected to be pregnant and become a mom… About a month ago, I was 6 weeks pregnant but had a miscarriage. | Losing my grandmother was and has been the worst. Ten years have passed and I still miss her every day. | I am really sensitive and even feel bad when I pluck some basil from my vase. | Do I let depression take over my mind and body or do I fight it? The moral (so far) don't give up, ever. | You know you can, just go ahead and do it already! |
| GabrielaLatina · in her 30sPortraitContent note | …you can say so much to someone without a single word, but make them their favorite comfort meal or a cake | It breaks my heart my father wasn’t healthier because it could have let him be with us longer | Like that means I could never eat my moms homemade food again - that’s not going to happen | I hit a low point when I was drinking all the time and I think I was just tired of feeling like I hated myself | I would have to stop feeling bad about myself or the world… I have felt defeated a lot this year. |
| GwendolynBlack · in her 50sPortrait | I also consider myself to be a bit of a fashionista. | I had to learn to breathe, meditate and focus on just taking one step at a time to get thru those moments. | They don't have to "look" a certain way or wear a certain thing, they would simply be a person who loves fresh food | Many years ago I lost my job, the economy crashed and everything seemed really hard. | I am strong and healthy!!! |
| HeatherWhite · in her 30sPortraitContent note | …my eating disorder is “the fat kind,” they all think I’m the only one with the issues. | I kind of clawed my way out of hell but I did it with a lot of support. | There’s no corporate America where I live, everyone has blue collar jobs working any of the three shifts every day of the week | Now a bad day is just a bad day, nothing more than that. | Always be fearless and never let anyone knock your crown off your beautiful head with its magnificent rainbow hair, and that includes yourself. |
| SimoneBlack · in her 20sPortrait | The donuts are my weakness! And then there's a cute girl eating pasta as she should. | This time allowed me to experience in just a few years what others probably had in over 10 years. | My food is soul food becuase it's what I grew up eating and also what people in my community and culture eat. | My home-I love having a safe space to call my home | Envision how I'll feel even better rather than beat myself up about past/current food choices |
| JadaBlack · in her 20sPortrait | …I, a fat person, am fat and would like to be described as that since its not negative its just a body type. | The major challenges were people telling me that I couldn't be from the United States because I was Black. | …for me, soul food is what my family serves at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and any BBQ. | I usually read or listen to music, especially sad Chinese songs. | I would probably lose weight, but I mostly want to fix my relationship with food. |
| JillWhite · in her 50sPortrait | Animals have unconditional love and are wonderful. | I took on the cooking role at age 8 when my dad asked if I could figure out how to make a steak. | …the ones I eat I believe are killed as humanely as possible and it is sad, I know | Landing on my feet means to me having the power to overcome obstacles. | have to stop rushing through life without experiencing it. |
| JudyWhite · in her 50sContent note | I look at myself in the mirror and say "You are gross...you are fat...you are nasty" I hold my stomach and jiggle it and cry. | The busier I am...the less I have to worry about being fat...or my kids being disrespectful...or my husband treating me like dog shit. | did not write | did not write | did not write |
| KarinaLatina · in her 20sPortrait | I learned to be a hard-worker and not take anything for granted from a young age. | I never learned how to cook and resorted to eating quesadillas and frozen dinners. | I don't enjoy plain foods without any seasoning or flavor. | As I got older, I finally stopped caring about people's perception of me and I'm very proud of my [heritage]. | Overall wellness is not a destination, but a process. It's about how you drive, not where you're going. |
| KeishaBlack · in her 40sPortrait | …there are so many people in the world that have nothing it could be love clothes motivation food trust me I’ve been there | Delivery of my first born it gave me a chance to love and my son was the best gift ever | I love animals and food. I’m having second feelings about what I’m eating when it come downs to animals | …I had nothing deposit furniture nothing and it was hard and cried because I had kids but I prayed about it God made a way. | my vison board is showing be to positive and look to the hills you got this |
| KiaraBlack · in her 30sPortraitContent note | The more colors you indulge in the more colorful your body will feel. | I made myself understand that I can only be a real failure if I stopped trying. | I'm basically teeter tottering in between the two now. The most difficult thing for me is cheese | …no matter what, she pushed, she cried, she fought and persevered and she was as present as her illness allowed her to be. | I can because I choose to |
| KristenWhite · in her 40sPortraitContent note | cheerfulness can be just as contagious as any virus. | …together we were strong enough to quit drugs when neither of us were strong enough to quit on our own. | Definitely Southern cooking would be “my food”. | My dog made sure I got out of bed every day and outside at least three or four times a day. | I would need to convince myself that I am worth cooking for |
| LeilaWhite · in her 30sPortraitContent note | Tomorrow isn't promised and I'm not letting pain limit the joys of life. | My kids. They are the reason I am who I am. | Nothing fried. Nothing american. My friends would always tell me it wasn't food. | The moral of this was you can't sacrifice your happiness to make life better for someone else... even if it is your kids. | My pictures are my future. |
| LilianaLatina · in her 30sPortrait | I have been called fat because I am fat.i am overweight. I don't like the negative connotation of it but it is what it is | I was born my child was born i turned 30 | CERTAIN Animals where out here so we can eat them | MOVING OUT OF THE PROJECTS, I OVERCAME BY WORKING TO MOVE FOR 10 YRS APPLYING TO OTHER APTS | Stop thinking I can't do it |
| LorraineBlack · in her 40sPortraitContent note | I like to help children/families that are battling Cancer or terminal illness. I like to be a Support system for them. | Loss of my Mother who was also my Best friend. … SHe was a strong woman and I channel her energy to keep me going. | …being in the kitchen while my mom cooked. It was always a "safe space' we would talk and listen to music. | Most gospel music tells stories of "overcoming" struggle ...trusting God even when its hard. | ME FIRST ALWAYS |
| LucíaLatina · in her 30s | Haven’t really gotten to explore a career…due to this pandemic. But, I’ll get there! | …always try to find a meaning in them after and that always brings me to a happier mood. | did not write | did not write | did not write |
| MargaritaLatina · in her 40sPortraitContent note | I was raised by a single mom, and now im a single mom. We do the best at raising our families. | HE GOT ME TO EAT MY VEGETABLES AND TRY NEW FOODS HE TOOK ME EVERYWHERE AS A KID | realizing that animals go through so much agony and pain just to be on our dinner plate | I was in an abusive relationship…I finally escaped that got my kids away from that awful way of living | STAY FOCUSED AND DONT LOSE SIGHT OF WHAT YOU WANT, ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOUR 3 DAUGHTERS. |
| MarielaLatina · in her 40sPortraitContent note | My kids usually complain about it and describe me as a bad cook | I’ve been suffering for so many years in my marriage relationship. … I had to learn to forgive and trust again | it is important to keep your country traditions alive. | I ask God to help me forgive and deal with my pain. It took a while but eventually did it. | I am capable , I am strong, I can do this! |
| MarisaLatina · in her 30sPortraitContent note | Lunch might be a sandwich, leftovers from the week, or my children's scraps/school lunch as to avoid food waste. | I became unapologetically me. | Doctors are a last resort. | I don't have that person. I've used crisis hotlines in the past. | I may also need an actual day off. |
| MaritzaLatina · in her 50sPortraitContent note | I think how you was raised shape who you are. | Even with this pandemic we need to think everything is going to be okay. Im a very easy going person. | …sometimes he didnt like what I prepared because is "too healthy" for him so he do his own stuff | …someone try to steal my car with a gun (carjacking) was very traumatic… | Do your best because is worth it. |
| MeganWhite · in her 30s | I would describe myself as a "flexatarian"; I eat mostly a vegetarian diet but will occasionally eat meat (primarily chicken) if I am craving protein. | When it comes to relaxing, I still need things to do to keep me busy. | did not write | did not write | did not write |
| MichelleWhite · in her 40sPortrait | It effects everything. Career, had to leave sooner then I wanted to . Relationship, tired a lot so hard to maintain, Walk with a limb. | Adoption of my son. Such a beautiful moment. He continues to be my hero | ironically don’t like pasta so much especially with sauce. Felt like that’s all we ate growing up. | My son: my heart My family: also my heart Good friends :advice love fun My house: Security Pets: unconditionally love | A can do attitude. |
| MoniqueBlack · in her 40s | Some times it’s depressing some times it’s not I still get up daily an take care of my Family | Lupus Diagnosis I learned to control it not let it control me | Cooked with Love | did not write | did not write |
| NataliaWhite · in her 40sPortraitContent note | I quietly struggled with eating disorders for years, and becoming vegan gave me an excuse to refuse food wherever I went | When my dad was diagnosed … I felt my life begin to crumble. He was an amazing person and the best father. | Allowing people to use their link card at a farmers market is a great plus | Sometimes I pour myself a glass of wine but I have found that this is only a band-aid | please be forgiving and know that at any given time in my life I’m always doing the best I can |
| NatalieLatina · in her 30sPortrait | you will never EVER find soda in the house. | alot of her meals are committed to memory not recipes. | If I am feeling stressed, it's easier to say "ok, tonight is pasta and grilled veggies" it makes me feel more in charge. | I moved to a new state away from friends and family. I was depressed for a while and wanted to go back home. | I'm glad you finally broke the cycle of putting others before you. You're health comes first. |
| NiaBlack · in her 30sPortraitContent note | I have a certain swag, personality, and toughness to me even tho I’m also very sweet. | So once I had my own place I felt like a true grownup. | How to buy healthy affordable foods on a budget. | when some coworkers found out I was pregnant they didn’t care to help. So I had to still lift heavy things… | I feel like ever since I had kids I’ve lost my self. |
| PaolaLatina · in her 30s | My family and I love to travel and take the kids on new adventures as I believe that new experiences enriches children. | Nothing was stable and it was as if everything was starting anew. I become a more resiliant person coming out of it. | During the holidays we always cook together and have different rice dishes along with different proteins such as chicken, seafood or beef. | did not write | did not write |
| PatriciaLatina · in her 40s | I'm true too my self I don't allow any of those factors influence my life style. | did not write | did not write | did not write | did not write |
| RachelWhite · in her 30sPortraitContent note | I take medication at night for my anxiety. I will have bad days in which I will be more closed off to the outside world. | Negative in a sense of I had gotten so bad that I needed medication intervention. Positive because now there was an explanation… | So I make a really good matzo ball soup and all my friends are always wanting it. | before I knew I would cry and it would feel like the emotion was leaving my body. | and I forgot I put a family on there that is a hope for my future. |
| ReneeBlack · in her 40sPortraitContent note | I can’t imagine someone I know not accepting me and my disease because it is a part of me | I realized I was stronger than I thought and my body wouldn’t let me down even though I had diabetes. | And to be perfectly honest, I love a good steak or BLT in my life! | In order to keep my sanity I had to put myself in the hospital and not tell anyone, especially my parents. | Stop counting carbs and calories prior to eating |
| RochelleBlack · in her 40s | Me Being A African-American Woman make me Strong and My Faith in my Religion is very Important to me. | I Try to stay positive and that life would be great. | did not write | did not write | did not write |
| RosaLatina · in her 40sPortrait | I had a dog for 18 years and she was my daughter! I miss her very much. | after my divorce I found the love of my life in a amazing woman that turned my life around | My wife and I talk about our weekly menu for every meal, and then we share the cooking responsibilities. | I think my chocolate friend would say something like: "Take a break for yourself. This is temporary. Let me help you feel a little better." | You are the priority, if you are not good you can't do good. |
| ShannonWhite · in her 40sPortrait | sometimes i eat so much chicken i feel like im gonna lay eggs! | defining moment was definitely when the husband cheated. it woke me up. life has been a roller coaster but im enjoying the ride! | well my food is my grandmothers sweet potato casserole with marshmallows on top. delicious!! | …i had to get on unemployment twice. i learned to coupon and we watched alot of the rush hour movies on repeat. | Communicate. Dont be afraid of hurting people's feelings. Be honest but nice. |
| SheilaWhite · in her 40s | Now that I've been laid off from work, the cost of my meds is worrisome | dropped out of school because of bullying - this made me very empathetic towards all people, sometimes to a fault | did not write | did not write | did not write |
| TamaraBlack · in her 30sPortraitContent note | I emotionally eat, and food makes me happy. I have no other vices and food is the most affordable Vice, especially the “bad” stuff. | Before: restricted. After: bold. | Healthy people and people striving towards a more healthy lifestyle come in all shapes and sizes. | Having shelter - I’ve been without, it’s nice not having to worry about having somewhere to live | Always remember where you started and why you were there to begin with. |
| TammyWhite · in her 40sPortrait | Depression and anxiety can somedays take a toll … I have to work really hard to get out of bed | I can tend to feel like their is a black cloud that follows me wherever I go most days! | What alot of work to pay WAY to much money and in less than 3 days here your children say there is nothing to eat! | …curl in a blanket and ask WHY ME? But then I remember I am strong and can get thru anything I put my heart into! | Just a reminder life is short! Dance in the rain |
| TeresaLatina · in her 50sPortrait | growing up in a Latin culture family our parents taught us speak Spanish at home | my grand mom and my mom are both who taught me alot things in life learned how to cook and manage | animals are part as family and food what I create to my pets | i am grateful that I'm alive healthy have my family and most importantly ourselves | emotionally life's furthest from being easy filled with ups and downs high and lows mentally drained |
| ValerieBlack · in her 40sPortraitContent note | I love taking pictures of flowers, i love flowers! | …I can’t live at my minds pace I have to live with what my body will allow me to do. | Then u see a women into frame, eating a vlassic pickle. She turns to the camera and says, ‘now that’s a good pickle’. | There have been many big challenges in my life from the death of loved ones, to loss in jobs, to serious health issues | I choose to be happy right now. I love my life....I am unique. |
| VeronicaLatina · in her 30sPortraitContent note | Food is life. What can we do to prolong what we enjoy the most? | Divorce was finalized after 13 year marriage. I was left with $0 in bank account-- started from scratch after separation. | love and care but most of all awareness of another heart beating creature | Time: Having time to put myself first. Above all --this is something money can't buy | Love yourself always even if you are heavy or thin. Laugh more. |
| YarelisLatina · in her 20sPortraitContent note | It impacted my dad bad. He was very sick going to doctors everyday for something different, always in dialysis | The loss of my father impacted me so much , he was our everything loosing him felt as if I oss a part of me. | I just can't let go of chicken and meats. Their so delicious and so many foods to eat it with. | Lossing someone that's the hardest. I can't help but cry when it gets to hard | Is always good to believe in yourself you are beautiful you are worth it |
| YeseniaLatina · in her 20s | Health is not something to take lightly, I have learned that we should eat to live and not the other way around. | …it is really hard to feel that way at times, but that is what hope is all about. | did not write | did not write | did not write |
| YvetteBlack · in her 50sPortraitContent note | My health status has no control over my life. I take my meds daily as prescribed. | my brain surgeries I really didn’t know if I was gonna wake up from those surgeries. It made me appreciate myself and life more. | If it was a matter of life and death.. I am vegan! It would be hard but I would do it. | I don’t cry in front of you. I don’t want you to feel my pain. | The only thing standing in my way is myself. |
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“Did not write” means she had left the study by that day. Fragments are verbatim. Rows marked “content note” touch on hard experiences; her page explains.