Valerie

Valerie’s five words are Outgoing, no nonsense, kind, generous, straight forward. She lives with her sister in a large Northeastern city and, like many women in 2020, was out of work, after years in banking and customer service. She loves photographing flowers, which make me reflex on the Creator,. She names her starting point plainly: As a black woman raised in an inner city you must ‘hold your own’ however being a Christian overrides most hard wired inclination.

She gave her defining moments with years. The good ones: moving in with her sister as a teenager, finishing college, setting firm travel goals. The move Gave me a new and fresh perspective of what life could be like out of the inner city, where Everything not so rushed and you have choices and options. The hard ones: in a single season her mother died of heart disease and she survived a major hurricane. Surviving a hurricane gives a new lease on life. Years later came fibromyalgia: Being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia means I can’t live at my minds pace I have to live with what my body will allow me to do. One reading is that her life has taught her two speeds, the one she imagines and the one her body allows.

That pace is literal in her kitchen. Some days she plans a full meal, but my energy won’t allow me to stand that long, so I make a salad then sit down. Cook my veggies then rest. Then make my meat and wait for it. She cooks for herself and especially my sister, who has diabetes and high blood pressure, so no salt and rarely fried foods. She herself is prediabetic. Since her mother’s death, there’s a sense from all of us that we need to do more to be healthy. Her food words are Quick, easy, haphazard, lazy, unhealthy. Her collage showed meals she had cooked: what I aspire to be.

She calls herself a carnivore, and on going vegan is brief: No, like beef too much. On animals she is frank: let’s face facts no one really wants to know how the sausage is made. Her imagined ad ends with a woman crunching a pickle so loudly it drowns out the waves. Can u tell I love pickles! Under stress she craves salty and sweet, a childhood comfort.

There have been many big challenges in my life from the death of loved ones, to loss in jobs, to serious health issues, she writes, and through them her faith carried her. Her lesson: self sufficiency will only take you so far... faith along with works will take you where you need to go. Her sister, who left her career to focus on her health after breast cancer, taught her that Your health and personal well being are more important than anything. In her congregation we call each other brothers and sisters, but at 2 a.m. my sister and I live together so I’d probably just walk in her room and wake her up.

On Day 5 she would shop only the fresh outer aisles if money wouldn’t factor into the equation, and would MAKE A WHOLESOME BREAKFAST DAILY. What stands in the way: Money because eating healthier just costs more. Her barrier is named without apology: money, and the energy her body allows. Her vision board says I choose to be happy right now. I love my life....I am unique. Her letter is gentle: you really didn’t need to change much just how you view yourself.