On the last day, the same 42 women looked ahead. Each chose one thing she would change about how she eats, weighed what she stood to gain and lose, named what stands in her way and what would help, made a vision board, and wrote a love letter to the woman she hopes to become. They wrote their own plan. Then they wrote to themselves as if it had already worked.
Women who answered
42
Questions
7
reset. pathways
MoveNourishRebalanceConnectRestore
What they were asked
When it comes to your food choices or eating behaviors, what is the one thing you would like to change?
What do you stand to gain if you make this change? What do you stand to lose if you do not?
What would you need to start doing to reach your goal: new thoughts, new emotions, new behaviors?
What would you need to stop doing: old thoughts, old emotions, old behaviors?
What is standing in your way? What would help you?
Make a vision board called “My Transformed Self”, and talk us through it.
Write a love letter to your future transformed self. What are you most proud of? What advice would you share?
One thing to change
Most women chose a food goal. A few chose a table, a breakfast, a slower meal.
Less sugar, carbs, bread or junk snacks13
“Eat healthier”9
Stop emotional, stress or boredom eating8
More fruit, vegetables, plant-based food7
Less takeout; cook at home7
Meal rhythm: eat earlier, slower, or at all7
Drinks: more water, less coffee or soda4
Make peace with food4
Content; nothing to change4
Bring the family to the table2
Women naming each goal, of 42. A woman could name more than one.
I would like to learn how to feel 100% satisfied with healthy food.
If I don't make this change, I lose the ability to teach my kids healthier habits and run the risk of having the same health conditions as my parents and grandparents.
Women naming each, of 42. A woman could name more than one. One reading: the stakes these women named are not cosmetic. Many have watched a parent or grandparent live with diabetes or hypertension, and they wrote as if they were looking at their own future.
Start and stop
Start lists were about structure and belief. Stop lists were about shame and delay.
RIGHT NOW TODAY
Figure out my true “why”
Thinking there’s always tomorrow
Eating without thinking and eating without feeling guilty
Happiness, curiosity, open-mindedness
I'll start next Monday.
putting my heart into wanting to do my best and believing I can do it
convince myself that I am worth cooking for
Feeling defeated when I don’t meet a goal
Feeling with my senses
One day at a time
Stop thinking I’m not worth the time it takes to cook for myself.
Pack snacks
maybe try things in small bites
Stop feeding my feelings
waiting for something to give me motivation
Seeing myself as a fat blob.
Stop thinking I can't do it
I may also need an actual day off.
I'd need to stop virtual distance learning my kids for starters!
Bold: what women said they would need to start. Light: what they would need to stop. Many did not keep thoughts, emotions and behaviors apart, so all six answers were read together. Of 42, the most common start items were believing in herself (19) and planning: meal plans, lists, budgets (17). The most common stop items were junk food and cravings (17), negative self-talk and body shame (16), procrastination (12) and emotional eating (12). The emotional stop items together outnumber the food items.
What stands in the way
“Myself,” then money, then time.
Myself: my mindset, my habits23
Money: healthy food, a gym, costs more11
Time, caregiving, virtual school8
Family or others not on board5
The pandemic, stress3
The food environment: ads, fast food, labels3
Physical limits, low energy2
Nothing2
Women naming each barrier, of 42. A woman could name more than one. Several who named money, time or caregiving added that, mostly, it was them. One reading: “myself” is both self-blame and a claim of agency, the part a woman can act on. It deserves neither argument nor agreement.
A Nourish goal, a Rebalance obstacle, Connect help.
Read together, the women’s answers make one pattern. The goal they set was about food. The obstacle they named was about habit, self-talk and time. The help they asked for was company. Together they match three pathways of Project reset., the film’s educational impact campaign, which helps people move from burnout to resilience through five pathways: Nourish, Restore, Move, Connect and Rebalance.
1
The goal
Nourish
Most set a food goal.
Less sugar, carbs or junk13
“Eat healthier”9
More fruit and vegetables7
Cook at home7
I would like to consistently (everyday) eat more vegetables.
Of 42 women who completed Day 5. A woman could name more than one answer at each step.
Letters to the future
Dear me.
The last prompt asked each woman to write a love letter to her future, transformed self: what she is most proud of, and what she would tell herself. Forty-one of the 42 wrote one. Most wrote in the past tense, as if the change had already happened. They are printed here as written, with names and sign-offs removed.
To her future selfNataliaOpen her letter
I would tell my future self not to be ashamed or too hard on myself for my past choices. That is something that I struggle with and I am always wishing that I had made better choices. So future self, please be forgiving and know that at any given time in my life I’m always doing the best I can
I'm so proud that you didn't give up. You had good days, bad days, overwhelming days, too tired days, but you still showed up. Don't forget that happiness is an essential and your self-care is a necessity.
Dear Me, Im proud of you for staying strong through the years and being the best mom you can be. You sacrificed your life and what makes you happy for your family and deserve to finally be happy. … My advice would be to never give up on you, to always stay positive even through the the hard times because the hard time don’t last forever, and that it’s never too late to achieve your goals.
Dear Darling Self, you really didn’t need to change much just how you view yourself. You did the necessary things to survive and thrive, including losing the weight and eating healthier. I know it was a real challenge but you did it...good job! My only advice would be to enjoy the process and don’t be too hard on yourself for failing because in the end you’ll succeed.
Dear Future Me, It has been a long way, and you have achieved more than you ever thought you were capable of. I'm glad you finally broke the cycle of putting others before you. You're health comes first. You are so worth it. Keep going, dont look back. Thank you!
Dear Me, I am absolutely proud of the changes that you've made in life in order to provide a better example for your kids but also to educate them that they can still eat good food that is healthy. … You along with those you've motivated are the beginning of breaking a generational curse! … For the record, not everything that looks good tastes good and not everything that looks bad tastes bad. Stop being so critical of food and just try it.
Dear self, I am so proud of you for loving yourself as you are and rewarding yourself for just for being you. Each day is a gift and wake up smiling as you open your eyes. I am happy you are finally relaxing and no longer worrying about things that have not happened. Live each day with no regrets and like it’s your last.
Dear [her name], Be proud of whom you’ve become. Love yourself always even if you are heavy or thin. Laugh more. Read and explore the world! Keep your head high.
You finally got tired of allowing others to place their fears on you and followed your heart. … TAKE A DEEP BREATH! You did it, you kept the faith, did the work and accomplished each and every goal.
Always remember where you started and why you were there to begin with. You can’t take back the past, and you will never get time back. So make sure you are living each day fully.
You are always cheering everybody else on, so never hesitate to bask in someone else’s praise for you. Should you ever need a shoulder to lean on, you know I’m always here for you.
[her name] you did so great! You worked so hard in bringing your family together and look what happened. … They even said they look forward to our dinners together, it's something that everyone can count on. We have made so many memories throughout the years over the family table and our family is closer than ever.
I am most proud of becoming what people said I couldn't which is a great mother! … Focus on you and let go of any toxic, energy draining, people in your life!
Women whose letter carries each theme, of 39 letters with substance (41 of 42 women wrote one). A letter could carry several.
Weight is present in these letters, but it is rarely the center. What “transformation” meant to these women was a whole life: a nursing degree, a house, a family table at seven, a woman forgiving herself.
Vision boards, in their words
My transformed self.
I can because I choose to
Kiara · Black · in her 30s · her daily affirmation
The three communities in this study also differ in age and household income, so a difference between groups may be a difference of life stage or money. We show a comparison only where it holds, with the number of women behind it.
Across communities
When money is named
Asked what stands in the way, most women in every community answered “myself,” and “someone doing it with me” was among the most wanted help in all three. That is the shared finding.
Money came next. Six of 11 White women named the cost of healthy food or a gym, against 3 of 17 Latina and 2 of 14 Black women. This was not because the White women had less: the pattern held in both household-means groups, and the Black women, the most stretched once household size is counted, most often named themselves. The healthy food the White women priced was often a product: almond flour, prepared meals, protein shakes, a gym.
Each pattern has its counter-voice. One White mother wrote, “Honestly, nothing is truly standing in my way of achieving those goals.” One Black mother named “Resources - lack of money Support from family” as what stood in her way.
Read with care. One reading, held loosely: norms of strength and self-reliance may make naming the system feel like making excuses for some women. The diaries cannot show this. The counts are small, and the White women in this study were also older.
Across life stages
Letters across life stages
Pride and “I did it” ran through letters at every age. One theme did not. Every letter that celebrated being free of other people’s doubt, six in all, came from a woman aged 27 to 33. One was proud of “becoming what people said I couldn't” and named it: a great mother.
Midlife letters more often spoke of health, ease and gentleness. One woman in her late 40s wrote, “you really didn’t need to change much just how you view yourself.”
Young mothers named the shape of the household as the barrier: picky eaters, a partner not on board, no time, “Another set of hands.” Several wrote letters about finally putting themselves first. Not all: one young mother’s letter is about the whole family at one table.
Read with care. Life stage, community and household move together in this study: the Latina women were younger with more small children, the White women older. Six letters is too few to say more than that the pattern appeared.
Across household means
Stretched households and the body
Body and appearance came up in 9 of 20 letters from women in more stretched households, against 3 of 19 from women with a little more room. The gap appeared inside each of the three communities, in small numbers.
What did not differ: pride, self-love and the wish for someone alongside ran through letters and answers in both groups.
Read with care. Household means is estimated from income band and household size, and everyone here was recruited as lower income. We cannot tell why the pattern appears; the numbers are small.
Before the diaries
What the experts helped us see.
AS
“It has to be so simple. It has to be 1-2-3. It has to save them time.”
Dr. Amit SoodPhysician and resilience researcherKB
“just start eating fruit at breakfast. That's it.”
Kylie BucknerNurse educator and coach, Mastering DiabetesJS
“Nobody's doing anything wrong. We just don't know some stuff.”
Jacque SalomonCo-founder, Seeds to Inspire Foundation
The expert interviews and the diaries pointed to the same principles: baby steps, keeping it simple, people like me, resilience, and support for the long haul. On Day 5 the women asked for exactly these things.
The GAIA Study, 2021
28 · 17 · 12%
SHAKTI informed The GAIA Study. Where SHAKTI women priced healthy food at the checkout, GAIA found that 28%, 17% and 12% of White, Hispanic and Black respondents follow a Whole Food Plant-Based diet, and that access to whole foods tracks race and income.
Third Degree Burnout – A Survivor’s Guide
SHAKTI informed the documentary. These letters and plans are the women’s own survivor’s guides, written to the women they hope to become.
Project reset. · Nourish
The goal the women already hold: food that satisfies, tastes like home and fits the budget.
Project reset. · Rebalance
The obstacle they named: time, habit and self-talk. Lifting the blame, making room in the week.
Project reset. · Connect
The help they asked for: someone alongside, in a group that stays for the long haul.
Project reset. · Restore
Rest, a day off, taming stress: the conditions that make any other change possible.
Project reset. · Move
The walks, hikes and workouts women already reach for, including options for pain and chronic illness.
The reset. connection
Five pathways, in the women’s own words.
Day 5 is where the women wrote their own plan, and it touches all five Project reset. pathways.
Nourish is the goal they already hold. Most chose a food goal: less sugar, more vegetables, cooking at home, food that satisfies. Nourish starts from food that tastes like home and fits the budget, not from a list of what to give up.
Rebalance is the obstacle they named. Twenty-three of 42 said “myself,” and their stop lists were led by self-talk and delay. Time and caregiving came next. Rebalance means making room in the week, and lifting the blame rather than adding a new rule.
Connect is the help they asked for. Fifteen of 42 wanted someone alongside them: a buddy, a partner, a family on board. One mother asked simply for “Another set of hands.” That is what a group cohort offers.
Restore and Move run underneath. Women wrote of rest, an actual day off, taming stress and going to bed early; of walking, hiking, a gym where the childcare is open again. Twelve put exercise or activity on their start lists.
One practical first step, drawn from what the women said would help: choose one small change, and one person to do it with. Not the whole plan. One thing, and one person.
These women wrote to their future selves. Where does your reset. begin?
Over five days in November 2020, in the first year of the pandemic, the women of The SHAKTI Study (76 recruited, 56 wrote, 42 completed all five days) told us who they are, what shaped them, what is on their plates, how they get through, and what they hope for. Few asked for more information. Far more asked for time, for food they could afford and enjoy, and for someone to do it with them.
SHAKTI listened. GAIA measured. The film told the story. reset. turns it into action.
Project reset. begins where these women did: with one goal, an honest look at what stands in the way, and other people beside you. Five pathways, Nourish, Restore, Move, Connect and Rebalance, and a group that walks them together.
So we end with the women’s own exercise, turned to you. Pick one thing you would change. Name what stands in your way, and what would help. Then think of the person you would ask to do it with you.
If you would like to bring Project reset. to your community, workplace or congregation, use the Bring reset. form.
understand that to change the future I have to make changes today
SHAKTI