Jada

Jada calls herself sweet, caring, reflective, funny, thoughtful. She grew up in a Midwestern city where most of her family has lived for generations, the middle child of a blended family, always the quiet book worm. After college she spent three years abroad teaching English to young children, then came home in 2019 to pursue her career goals. She writes about her body directly. Blood tests show her healthy, though her BMI did not, and her doctor said that I was healthier than him, a thin man. When friends avoided one word, she asked them to use it: I, a fat person, am fat and would like to be described as that since its not negative its just a body type.

All three of her defining moments are positive, and all are about leaving home to learn. A new high school, where she could reinvent myself, and it was really freeing. A first trip abroad with a host family: This was a MAJOR moment in my life, a lot of firsts. And three years living alone in another country: This is by far my biggest influence in life. Abroad, people told her she could not be American because she was Black. She answered by teaching: I just always tried to tell them that they were wrong and that Black people built America and have lived there just as long. One reading is that her lifeline has no valleys because she draws it as a map of doors opening; the hard moments are there, but she files them under what she taught others.

Her plate is a mix of midwestern favorites (casseroles, etc), soul food, and Asian food. She cooks Chinese and Korean dishes at home, And of course kimchi! Soul food, for her, is what my family serves at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and any BBQ. She learned by watching her mother, her stepmother and food television; her stepmother rarely follows a recipe and it always tastes good. She was pescatarian for years and still eats mostly plant-based, but names the cost: vegan staples are not super affordable if you are making minimum wage or living paycheck to paycheck. She lives in what she calls the semi-food desert, and the event she would organize is a community garden or farmers market, accessible to everyone.

She has watched a sister restrict and then binge, and chose another way: I learned that beating myself up about what I ate isn't helpful. Sweets are her pleasure; donuts are my ultimate happy food. Under stress she steps back, reads, deep cleans, or listens to music, especially sad Chinese songs, because they are slow and easy to learn and so emotional.

Her superpower is the ability to stay positive. Her weakness is Being non-confrontational. She can tell a friend that someone hurt her, but I can't tell the person that did it. Her 2 a.m. people are two best friends: I always vent to them and they always vent to me.

On Day 5 she wishes she would not eat at night as much, nor binge on as many sweets as I do. Then the center of it: I would probably lose weight, but I mostly want to fix my relationship with food. What she would need to stop is repressing my feelings. What would help, in one word: Therapy. The change she describes is less about the body she defends on Day 1 than about the feelings she says she keeps to herself. Her letter is a single sentence of hope for the woman she will be.