Rosa

Rosa calls herself Curious, observant, calm, warmth, friendly. She grew up in South America and now lives in a large Northeastern city with her wife. She teaches, and she is studying something new. She has no children; the dog she had for eighteen years was my daughter! I miss her very much. She was raised Catholic, and her belief stays with her: I trust that He is protecting me and guiding me all the time.

Her defining moments are about learning whose happiness counts. As a teenager she moved in with her father: I had to grew up in a express way! At sixteen she ran the groceries and the family’s meal plans while still in high school. Later she married her boyfriend of ten years, and found they could not live together. She separated before their first anniversary and moved out alone, without any family support. Her lesson: I don’t have to sacrifice my happiness for others. Then, after the divorce, I found the love of my life in a amazing woman that turned my life around. She left everything to start a new life with her. I never received from my former partners unconditional love, I was never the priority. One reading is that her lifeline climbs as she learns, late and on purpose, to be cared for as well as to care.

Her mother cooked from her grandmother’s recipes, teaching me to eat in a way that today I recognize is not very healthy: oil in almost everything, several kinds of carbohydrate in one meal, big portions. A year before the diary, with a friend who works as a nutrition coach, she changed how she eats. Her cholesterol came down, she sleeps better, and I have lost 50 pounds already. She tracks water and macros, and has learned if I control the portions I can still eat all my favorite foods, without remorse. She and her wife plan the week’s menu together and share the cooking: Usually she is in charge of the proteins and I cook the rest. She would like better produce from real farmers markets, but I don't own a car to get around.

She cannot stop thinking of animals at the table. I can’t avoid to think on the animals when I am eating meat and if someone talks about the animal we are eating I loose my appetite. She would try a vegan diet, but not yet, while she is still learning her body. She is honest that, for now, there is not relationship between my compassion for animals and the food I eat.

Her superpower is quiet: I am very calm person. I am very reflective. Her weakness is worrying about others, more than myself sometimes. Under stress she withdraws for a while: I allow myself to feel anxious, stressed, worried and then when I am calmer, I make decisions. Chocolate and bread are her comforts, and she gives them voices. Chocolate says, Take a break for yourself. This is temporary. Let me help you feel a little better. She admires her mother, who survived breast cancer trusting in God. Her 2 a.m. person is her wife: My problems are her problems.

On Day 5 she wants to learn how to feel 100% satisfied with healthy food, and to stop treating herself after a hard day. What helps her is structure: a routine, meal prep, an alarm to remember to drink water. Her plan leans on structure; her letter leans on tenderness. It reads: You are the priority, if you are not good you can't do good.